When Your 5-Year-Old Says, "My Head Hurts"

When the Body Speaks First

A young child may say "My head hurts" — and sometimes it does. But younger children may also use body words when they do not know how to explain big feelings. They may not say "I feel nervous when you leave." They may say "My head hurts."

The best response is careful, calm, and not dismissive.

First, Check the Body

Ask simple questions: "Where does it hurt?" / "Did it hurt when you woke up?" / "Did it start when we started getting ready?" / "Do you feel hot?" You are not accusing them. You are trying to understand.

What You Can Say

"I'm sorry your head hurts. Let me check on you."

"We're going to take care of your body first."

"Let's drink some water and sit for a minute. Then we'll see how you feel."

This makes the child feel believed.

If They Keep Crying

"You really want to stay home with me today. Goodbyes can feel hard. I'll walk you in, give you a hug, and you can tell your teacher if your head still hurts."

This gives comfort without turning the morning into a long debate.

What to Avoid

Avoid: "You're lying." / "Nothing is wrong with you." / "Stop making stuff up." Even if you think they are avoiding school, those words may make them feel unsafe telling you the truth later.

Better words: "I believe something feels hard. I'm going to help you through it."